AF is coming.

I’m a bitch today. I am going to explode. Everyone is getting on my nerves. . .there are people at work today that the sound of the voice makes me want to scream! I just want to put tape over their mouths. Guess what that means??? AF must be coming. Great. I knew deep down that I wasn’t pregnant, but seriously? What gives? I thought we did everything right, I actually “o” for the first time in 3 months. And since I don’t have a doctor yet, I guess I’ll do my own WTF appointment.

I wish AF would just come already. So I can just get it over with and start over. The whole waiting game is ridiculous. I guess I should make some decisions while I wait. Like, do I go to the doctor now and get on meds or do I wait another cycle to see if I “o” again on my own. . .


On top of everything else, we have postponed our house search. Initially, I was more then upset. We had found a house that was almost perfect, but being the mature adult that I am, I know that this is for the best now. We have no clue how much fertility treatments are going to cost, and until we have some kind of ballpark figure we have to be smart about the steps we are making for our future.

*Sigh* Things are never easy.

Stupid Chart

Stupid crosslines. They moved them, apparently due to more information they moved the day I O’d to 23rd from the 19th, which would mean there is no way that I am pregnant. At least they are still dotted, which I am now taking as a sign that they have no freakin clue.

Quick Note

Just a quick check-in. . .today is CD 25. And I am currently in the 2WW. I have dotted cross-hairs on my chart! (dotted ones are better than none!) My temp has been slightly elevated the past few days. So we will see. . .

Waiting to Exhale

Well, after a nice and relaxing weekend, its back to the real world with a vengeance. The house situation seems tense. . .I just want to move. I really, really like this house. We just need money. . .because I know that someone is just going to sweep in and buy it. Then it’s back to square one, ugh. I checked on my money tree in the yard this morning. . .and it still isn’t growing. Must be this lousy Pittsburgh weather.
On the baby subject, not too much new. I’m on CD 19 and no O yet. I had a conversation with a friend of mine conversation last week about babies and stuff. At first it didn’t go so well, I don’t think she knows how we have been trying and how PCOS is really affecting me. She was one of those people who told me “It’s in God’s hands”. (sigh) So she on to tell me how she thinks she really wants a baby and how maybe we can be pregnant together. So I explained to her, that she most likely will be pregnant before me. Apparently, she didn’t think we were really trying. So I went into the whole thing of how I am temping and charting AND taking OPK’s everyday, and nothing. Most likely I will start medication on the next cycle. And I could see her just trying to process everything. I guess it’s hard for someone else to understand. She said she is amazed that I do all of that. That she doesn't think she would be able to. But I never pictured myself ever doing any of this either. But the minute I was told that I might possibly NOT be able to have a baby, I became very proactive. There was no wait and see for me.

So next week, I get to call and make my Dr.’s appointment and see what he has to say on what my next step should be. I’m very hopeful and I just want to get to the next thing. I am pulling out all the tricks on this last cycle. . .I bought POM juice (which is the nastiest thing next to Prune juice), I have mucinex (just in case i O and my CM isn’t what it should be). I don’t know what else I can do. . .but wait. I fill like that is what my life consist of now. Waiting. Waiting about the house. Waiting for money. Waiting for work to be done. Waiting for the weekend. Waiting for doctors appointments. Waiting for a baby. Waiting to Exhale.

No Money

SO we went through the house again last night. And we went home and realized that we still don’t have enough money for a deposit. . .what a letdown. So now we need to come up with $1200. I just hope no one else likes that house and this works out for us. Something needs to give. . .where is my money tree? And that $1200 isn’t even including closing costs, and everything else. Oh {insert big sigh here} please, please, please no one else like this house!!!! It’s mine!

On the other hand, it is day 12 of my cycle and I think I am having pain in my ovaries. Sharp, stabbing pain. . .not sure what that means if anything. . .but it has come and gone all day. It really hurts. Maybe it means I am ovulating this month. . .although all tests point to no so far. Maybe it just means that my ovaries are sabotaging all of my eggs. That's more likely.