Another BFP.

Don't get me wrong. I am excited. But very cautious at the same time. I tell myself everyday "Today I am pregnant, and I love my baby." But I am nervous to get overly excited. Nervous to be happy, to talk to my baby, to share the news. I know that being this nervous won't help me, and I am trying to take it easy and not overthink things. I am still doing the same things, I haven't changed my daily routine. I am still working out, but making sure I keep my heart rate down. I am still taking yoga.

My first doctors appointment will be on Nov. 16th. I will be 6 weeks. Please let me make it that far. Everyday that I am still pregnant, feels like a prize. But at the same time, every pain or cramp sends fear through my body.

But I'll say it again, Today I am pregnant and I love my baby. Stick baby stick, mommy and daddy want to hold you.

Things Aren't Always Butterflies and Roses

Let me just say, work sucks. Well, at least lately. I've just been so freakin' busy. And I feel like I am a babysitter to about 40 grown adults. Seriously, do you need to bug me for everything. No, I can't scratch your ass for you today, you will have to reach it yourself.

I just feel like I can't catch a break with anything. I did have a nice weekend. We went "camping", and did some good hiking and my biggest concern all weekend was making sure the campfire didn't go out! If only every day could be like that!

I am currently in my 2ww. And I don't feel like I have any hope for this cycle. Even though we BD'd a lot around that time, it just doesn't feel like it is going to work this cycle. I always hear how people analyze every little thing during those 2 weeks. However, I feel nothing. I didn't last time either. Who knows. Plus, my chart was really weird this cycle, instead of a sharp increase in temps, it is a very slow climb. And it didn't really spike that much. In the high 97's.

I am going to skip Yoga tonight and make some Pumpkin cupcakes. Hopefully, they will turn out good and turn my mood around.

I'm 30, and all I want is a baby. Who knew it would be so hard.

Obsessed

I’m obsessed. Completely and totally obsessed with getting pregnant and my m/c. It has taken over all aspects of my life. I hate being like this, but I’m not sure how to stop it. I am always calculating in my head how far along I should be, or what I would be doing this week. Would I be telling my parents, or work. Would I be showing? It makes me sick. It makes me stressed. I feel like I am walking on a tight rope and barely staying on.
I’m obsessed with getting pg again. In fact everything points to me ovulating this week, but my cm is not the best. And I still don’t have crosshairs. Please, please let me ovulate this week. I’m going to do things differently this time, not sure what, but I swear I am going to make the most of it this time.

Other then the baby making/issues, my husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary. We had a great weekend together. But I couldn’t help to notice that something was missing. . .