It's a first. He is napping, and power napping at that. He has been asleep for over 3 hours, I was going to wake him at the 2 hour mark, but then I remembered. . ."NEVER wake a sleeping baby." However, I will wake him after 4 hours, I want him to eat and be able to sleep tonight.
I should probably be sleeping as well. But instead I cleaned, folded laundry, and checked e-mail. I am tired, but are very loud dishwasher is running and I am scared I won't hear him if he wakes. (which is impossible, if you know my son, but still)
We had another doctors appt. the other day, he is now at 9 lbs, 10 oz. Such a big boy! Sleeping at night is getting better, and some days it seems like we are in a better routine, others not so much. It gets hard on the days that my husband works 2 jobs and leaves before he is up and doesn't come home until the whole family is sleeping. Those are long days. I usually try to take Jax somewhere and go visit to break it up. It really makes me respect single mothers on those days that don't have any help, because I feel like a single mother on those days. The days that you don't get out and it's just you and the baby are very long days. Even more so when the baby doesn't sleep. There is only so much you can do with a one month old who isn't sleeping. It's not like he can play, although I try. We go from playmat to pack n play to swing to bouncer. I sing and rock him, read books to him that he has no interest in, walk him around the house and porch, and then start all over again.
It's amazing what having a child can do to your emotions as well. I've never been much of a cryer. I've had my breakdowns, but I usually hardly ever cried. Now, I can just look at my son and cry. I think of the future or the past, and cry. And not for any reason other then I love him so much.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Can't Sleep
It sucks when your baby is sleeping good and you can't sleep. My mind is just racing tonight, and then I make it worse by reminding myself if I don't get to sleep soon, how rough of a day I am going to have. Oh, well, nothing I can do about it now.
Not sure how much longer I am going to keep blogging, I'm obviously having a tough time keeping up as is. And I'm not sure what to write about or what importance it has anymore.
Jaxson is doing well, and it seems like everyone is finally adjusting. I have to say while breastfeeding is sometimes hard and makes me feel like I am tied down, I really enjoy that time I have with my son. And I think I am going to be disappointed when I stop.
I often think about when I take him to daycare, and the thought just kills me. He is going to go from being with mommy 24 hours of a day to being with a stranger for over 8 hours a day. It just doesn't seem right or fair.
Jaxson still doesn't like to nap during the day, and you have to almost force him to lay down and nap. I've never heard of a newborn doing this. It's amazing how he fights sleep, like he might miss something important.
Like I have said in previous posts, I can't believe how much I love him. He is my whole heart.
Not sure how much longer I am going to keep blogging, I'm obviously having a tough time keeping up as is. And I'm not sure what to write about or what importance it has anymore.
Jaxson is doing well, and it seems like everyone is finally adjusting. I have to say while breastfeeding is sometimes hard and makes me feel like I am tied down, I really enjoy that time I have with my son. And I think I am going to be disappointed when I stop.
I often think about when I take him to daycare, and the thought just kills me. He is going to go from being with mommy 24 hours of a day to being with a stranger for over 8 hours a day. It just doesn't seem right or fair.
Jaxson still doesn't like to nap during the day, and you have to almost force him to lay down and nap. I've never heard of a newborn doing this. It's amazing how he fights sleep, like he might miss something important.
Like I have said in previous posts, I can't believe how much I love him. He is my whole heart.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Things I've Learned.
Being a parent is the most rewarding and frustrating experience. And it can go from frustrating to rewarding in a matter of seconds.
Everything in your life changes in a blink of an eye. The things that were once important, don't mean anything, and you can't remember why you ever thought they were important in the first place.
That there is a new boss in the house. You are not boss, there is a little 2 foot person that rules everything in the household!
That I sometimes have no clue what he wants, and I don't always know what to do. But I know that I couldn't love him anymore that what I do.
That I will never write another blog in one sitting or even in one day! I don't have the time or energy.
That I want to continue to simplify my life, and I want to continue to get the unwanted drama out of my life. I want my son's life to be filled with love and calmness. Life is hard enough as is, he doesn't need any extra drama added into his life.
That I already miss him when I think about him going to daycare and it makes me cry.
That not all babies nap all the time or at all. I have one of the few babies that do not nap.
That the things I thought where must haves, I don't even use.
You can never have too many swaddle blankets or hands.
That breastfeeding takes up most of my time. But I really do enjoy our quiet time together.
I never thought I could love something or someone as much as I love him.
Everything in your life changes in a blink of an eye. The things that were once important, don't mean anything, and you can't remember why you ever thought they were important in the first place.
That there is a new boss in the house. You are not boss, there is a little 2 foot person that rules everything in the household!
That I sometimes have no clue what he wants, and I don't always know what to do. But I know that I couldn't love him anymore that what I do.
That I will never write another blog in one sitting or even in one day! I don't have the time or energy.
That I want to continue to simplify my life, and I want to continue to get the unwanted drama out of my life. I want my son's life to be filled with love and calmness. Life is hard enough as is, he doesn't need any extra drama added into his life.
That I already miss him when I think about him going to daycare and it makes me cry.
That not all babies nap all the time or at all. I have one of the few babies that do not nap.
That the things I thought where must haves, I don't even use.
You can never have too many swaddle blankets or hands.
That breastfeeding takes up most of my time. But I really do enjoy our quiet time together.
I never thought I could love something or someone as much as I love him.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Birth Story ( a little late)
Let's hope I can remember all of this!
June 26th, I was convinced that I would go to the date I was scheduled to be induced. Husband and I went for a short walk that evening, and watched a movie. Got ready for bed around 11:00. Baby was very active with low punches, and I couldn't get comfortable in bed. I rolled from my back to by left side when all of a sudden, my water broke. And that is an understatement. I'm talking Niagara falls, gushing. (I thought that only happened in the movies) While I was in the bathroom waiting for my doctor to call me back and trying to control Niagara falls, Chris put the last minute items in the suitcase. I was extremely nervous and excited at the same time.
We got to the hospital at a little after midnight, checked in and was wheeled up to the maternity floor. From there everything goes into fast pace. We got to my suit, I went to the bathroom to change out of my clothes and into the hospital gown. No sooner then I get into the bed, my contractions started. The nurse checked me and said I was at 3 centimeters. I asked for an epidural and was told they like to wait a little longer.
An hour later, my contractions where camel backing and where right on top of each other. Some of them never completely went away and just rolled into another one. My contractions where longer then the rest period in between. The nurse came in to check me again, and I was at 5 centimeters, she gave me a shot to help me relax between the contractions. Which would have been great, if I would have time to actually relax! Soon after, I starting shaking. I mean whole body shaking like the chills, but non-stop. She said it was just my body's way of dealing with labor, and if I tried to fight it it would get worse. Everything after that just rolls into the next thing. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural, which worked for 2 hours, and then I started to feel the contractions again. At the same time as this is happening, the nurse comes in because my blood pressure was dropping and she had to give me a shot to bring it back up. A few minutes after that, she came in and had me switch positions because the baby's heart rate was dropping. All the while I am pushing my button on the epidural and it still isn't working. I finally push the button for the nurse at 4:15 am, I knew it was time to push because I could feel pressure, however I didn't want to because I could feel every contraction and just wanted more drugs! She comes in and checks me and I am fully dilated and ready to go, there isn't time for anymore drugs. The doctor comes in and the pushing begins. I am not making any progress, the baby is posterior. We continue to push for 40 minutes and now the baby's heart rate is starting to drop with every push. (Plus, the baby had passed meconium, so every minute he was in there, increased the health risk to him) The doctor comes in and says that it is time to take me in for a c section for the health of the baby. I have no objections at this time. They rush me over to the OR and Chris changes into his scrubs. They give me another epidural, and start to perform the scratch test to make sure it is working. All is good until the get to the right side or my stomach. I can feel it. They wayt a few minutes, and try again. I can still feel it. And this time, they decide it is best to put me completely under. I am slightly frightened, but I just wanted to get everything over with at this point. The whole night has been a weird experience, and I almost feel like I am present for everything, but not actually going through it, even though the pain has been very real. Chris is not allowed in the room once they put me under and has to wait in the hall. Jaxson Xavier was born at 5:19 am, (with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck) while mommy was sleeping and daddy was in the hallway. Mommy finally got to meet her son at around 8:00 that morning.
Recovery has not been easy as well. The first day was extremely painful, I remember asking for more drugs as soon as I woke up. Before even asking for my son, I'm not sure at that point if I even remembered why I was there. The second day I was there, they made me get out of bed, which was horrible as well.
I am now approaching three weeks since the birth of my son, I am feeling really good. Still limited in movement, and I get tired easily. And my stomach can be very tender or if I move to quickly, can feel like it is ripping.
But in the end, I have a very healthy and beautiful son. Who was so worth every once of pain. I love him with all of my heart, in fact he is my heart.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A note to my son
Dearest Son,
I know you are very happy just where you are, but you are truly missing out. If you were to come out, you would have so much more room! You could stretch out, and move around. Also, it's not cold out anymore. It is about the same temperature as it is in my belly, so you really won't be cold. And I promise, I'll make daddy stop turning down the air. You have a lot a cute clothes to wear, and if you stay in there you will be too big to wear them. Also, if you come out, you won't have to hear mommy say ouch a million times a day and night when you decide to kick my ribs or move when you are really low.
I know that you are really enjoying the ice cream that I feed you on a daily basis, but I'm afraid I am going to have to stop. It's spinach from now until you come out.
If you don't come out on your own, they are evicting you on the 1st. So I really think it's better if you just decide today that you would like to meet everyone. (Plus, you are wasting mommies maternity leave in there.)
Love,
Your mom
I know you are very happy just where you are, but you are truly missing out. If you were to come out, you would have so much more room! You could stretch out, and move around. Also, it's not cold out anymore. It is about the same temperature as it is in my belly, so you really won't be cold. And I promise, I'll make daddy stop turning down the air. You have a lot a cute clothes to wear, and if you stay in there you will be too big to wear them. Also, if you come out, you won't have to hear mommy say ouch a million times a day and night when you decide to kick my ribs or move when you are really low.
I know that you are really enjoying the ice cream that I feed you on a daily basis, but I'm afraid I am going to have to stop. It's spinach from now until you come out.
If you don't come out on your own, they are evicting you on the 1st. So I really think it's better if you just decide today that you would like to meet everyone. (Plus, you are wasting mommies maternity leave in there.)
Love,
Your mom
Sunday, June 20, 2010
39 weeks
This feels like an endless journey now. I really thought I would go this weekend. I even wake up in the night making up contractions, hoping that everything is a contraction. And nothing is. He has completely ran out of room in my belly and is taking up space anywhere he can find it. Which makes me the most uncomfortable. I feel like I am carrying a toddler in my belly. I dread bed time, because I can only sleep sitting up. And that is usually for 30 minutes at a time. To top all this off, my dog broke my toe yesterday. So I am hobbling around, which sucks. I want to take a long walk to get him moving. I have laundry to do.
At this doctors appt this weekend, I am asking for a means to an end. (if you think about it, I have every right. 3 weeks ago and he was pushing 7 pounds, he could be 25 pounds at this point!) If asking doesn't work, I am begging, threatening, at worst case, attaching myself to the bed and not leaving. He has to exit this week.
How far along are you? 39 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? Still 156 pounds. (which is up 28 pounds)
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Small movements, he has nowhere to go. He favors my left side, and loves my ribs.
Best moment this week? Really, I think when you are down this far, there is no favorite moment. If my water was to break, that would be a favorite moment! But since I have to pick one, I would say receiving Sophie! Someone bought me (or actually him) Sophie and I love her!
Food Cravings? Sweets and fruit. I don't want regular food, just fruit or ice cream.
Milestones? 39 weeks.
Labor Progress? 1 centimeter, some cramping. But nothing else. Oh, and spicy food, pineapple, raspberry ice tea, and bumpy roads do NOT make you go into labor.
Weekly Wisdom? Stolen from the last question, nothing is going to make you go into labor unless your body is ready. I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe the doctor will hear my pleads this week and work some voodoo magic.
At this doctors appt this weekend, I am asking for a means to an end. (if you think about it, I have every right. 3 weeks ago and he was pushing 7 pounds, he could be 25 pounds at this point!) If asking doesn't work, I am begging, threatening, at worst case, attaching myself to the bed and not leaving. He has to exit this week.
How far along are you? 39 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? Still 156 pounds. (which is up 28 pounds)
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Small movements, he has nowhere to go. He favors my left side, and loves my ribs.
Best moment this week? Really, I think when you are down this far, there is no favorite moment. If my water was to break, that would be a favorite moment! But since I have to pick one, I would say receiving Sophie! Someone bought me (or actually him) Sophie and I love her!
Food Cravings? Sweets and fruit. I don't want regular food, just fruit or ice cream.
Milestones? 39 weeks.
Labor Progress? 1 centimeter, some cramping. But nothing else. Oh, and spicy food, pineapple, raspberry ice tea, and bumpy roads do NOT make you go into labor.
Weekly Wisdom? Stolen from the last question, nothing is going to make you go into labor unless your body is ready. I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe the doctor will hear my pleads this week and work some voodoo magic.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Labor fear?
I get that question a lot. Are you scared. No, not really. I mean, if I sit down and obsess about the details, then yeah, I get a little freaked out. Who wouldn't? But in my head I am more then prepared.
Here is how I try to explain it. I choose to have elective surgery a few years ago, some thought I was nuts. But it was something that I always wanted to do. So the cost, the pain and the process didn't make me hesitate for a second.
This is also something I wanted to a long time. So the pain, the cost and the process isn't going to scare me. I'm actually very anxious. And trying to keep busy lately just isn't helping.
Today my husband works, so I have to try to keep busy on my own. Not easy when you have been up since 6:30. But I have a schedule in my head of things to do, and I think I will include a nap in there!
Here is how I try to explain it. I choose to have elective surgery a few years ago, some thought I was nuts. But it was something that I always wanted to do. So the cost, the pain and the process didn't make me hesitate for a second.
This is also something I wanted to a long time. So the pain, the cost and the process isn't going to scare me. I'm actually very anxious. And trying to keep busy lately just isn't helping.
Today my husband works, so I have to try to keep busy on my own. Not easy when you have been up since 6:30. But I have a schedule in my head of things to do, and I think I will include a nap in there!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
38 Weeks
I'm exhausted. Seriously. I just want this baby to come. Still not miserable, like everyone acts like I should be. I'm just over it, and I want to meet my son. He on the other hand, is very happy where he is and has no plans to meet us anytime soon!
How far along are you? 38 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? Still 156 pounds.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Same as last week.
Best moment this week? Umm, just that we are ready. (do you hear that jr??? We are ready.)
Food Cravings? Still nothing.
Milestones? 38 weeks. Full term and still cooking.
Labor Progress? Last week I was 1/2 centimeter. What?! Only a half??? Looks like slow progress to me. Very slow, next doctors appt. is tomorrow.
Weekly Wisdom? Smile at peoples stupid comments, they think they are funny. But we all know that they are asses!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
37 weeks and Can't Sleep
So it's Sunday and I have been up since 5:30. Instead of just laying in bed, I figured that I would get up and get things done. Like Blog, since I haven't in awhile. What was keeping me up on a Sunday morning, work. Ugh. I'm so over it, and that place. Not sure if it is the pregnancy or if I need something different, but the thought of going there again makes me sick.
All in all the pregnancy is still going well. Baby is fine, so the sonogram went well. He is slightly larger then the average baby, where we gets that from, I have no clue. I guess I have been feeding him well!
I met with the head doctor at my practice the other day and asked him about exit plans, and he said he are just going to proceed like normal at this point. So I took it in my own hands to find out what can speed up labor! Found lots of suggestions online, the only 2 I am doing is walking and eating pineapple, hopefully those work. I'm thinking Tuesday would be a great day to go into labor!
It's not that I am completely uncomfortable and that is why I want the baby out, it's honestly because I don't want to work anymore. I really think I might snap if I go in there one more day! My husband said it's become a public safety concern. . .he really isn't joking. You try working with 60 engineers. . .
Oh, and the burny pain at the top of my stomach is back.
How far along are you? 37 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? 156 pounds, and I'm not ashamed of posting that.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Around 9 at night he is really active. And he is strong! Sometimes I hold my belly when he is moving around almost in an attempt to keep him in there, it feels like he is trying to break out! Lots of lower jabs as well, those are very uncomfortable.
Best moment this week? Nursery is done! And I love it. We are also now completely ready for little man to arrive. Also, the sonogram turned out to look fine, so we are now expecting a healthy baby!
Food Cravings? Still nothing.
Belly button in or out? It's not totally out, but it's not really in, either. I don't know, my belly button is weird.
Milestones? Finishing the baby's room. I really didn't think it would be done in time.
Labor Progress? None that I know of. 2 weeks ago, they confirmed that his head had dropped and he is in position and that my cervix was getting soft but no dilation. Last week, they didn't check, said there was no need to check every week and disturb anything going on. Hopefully, they will check this week.
Weekly Wisdom? Baby steps and patience. No matter what you do, you have to except that the baby is coming on his own time.
All in all the pregnancy is still going well. Baby is fine, so the sonogram went well. He is slightly larger then the average baby, where we gets that from, I have no clue. I guess I have been feeding him well!
I met with the head doctor at my practice the other day and asked him about exit plans, and he said he are just going to proceed like normal at this point. So I took it in my own hands to find out what can speed up labor! Found lots of suggestions online, the only 2 I am doing is walking and eating pineapple, hopefully those work. I'm thinking Tuesday would be a great day to go into labor!
It's not that I am completely uncomfortable and that is why I want the baby out, it's honestly because I don't want to work anymore. I really think I might snap if I go in there one more day! My husband said it's become a public safety concern. . .he really isn't joking. You try working with 60 engineers. . .
Oh, and the burny pain at the top of my stomach is back.
How far along are you? 37 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? 156 pounds, and I'm not ashamed of posting that.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Around 9 at night he is really active. And he is strong! Sometimes I hold my belly when he is moving around almost in an attempt to keep him in there, it feels like he is trying to break out! Lots of lower jabs as well, those are very uncomfortable.
Best moment this week? Nursery is done! And I love it. We are also now completely ready for little man to arrive. Also, the sonogram turned out to look fine, so we are now expecting a healthy baby!
Food Cravings? Still nothing.
Belly button in or out? It's not totally out, but it's not really in, either. I don't know, my belly button is weird.
Milestones? Finishing the baby's room. I really didn't think it would be done in time.
Labor Progress? None that I know of. 2 weeks ago, they confirmed that his head had dropped and he is in position and that my cervix was getting soft but no dilation. Last week, they didn't check, said there was no need to check every week and disturb anything going on. Hopefully, they will check this week.
Weekly Wisdom? Baby steps and patience. No matter what you do, you have to except that the baby is coming on his own time.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
35 Weeks
Pregnancy: 35 weeks
Weight Gain: total of 26 pounds, I don't think that is bad!
Sleep: I've been sleeping pretty good, with the usual breaks for the bathroom. I usually wake up because I have a stomach cramp, or it feels like he has jammed a foot in my rib. After repositioning, I usually feel better and can get back to sleep.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Okay. Exhausted. We went shopping the other day and I had to cut our trip short, I never cut a shopping trip short! And today, I thought I was going to fall over in the very first store!
Health: Mine, good. The baby's. . .he seems healthy. But we will find out soon enough.
Movement: The same kicks and punches, sometimes a little hard or in weird places.
Belly: Measuring 2 weeks ahead. No stretch marks, belly button kind of out, kind of in.
Next Appointment: May 25th, internals start this week. And I will have my strep B test.
Weight Gain: total of 26 pounds, I don't think that is bad!
Sleep: I've been sleeping pretty good, with the usual breaks for the bathroom. I usually wake up because I have a stomach cramp, or it feels like he has jammed a foot in my rib. After repositioning, I usually feel better and can get back to sleep.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Okay. Exhausted. We went shopping the other day and I had to cut our trip short, I never cut a shopping trip short! And today, I thought I was going to fall over in the very first store!
Health: Mine, good. The baby's. . .he seems healthy. But we will find out soon enough.
Movement: The same kicks and punches, sometimes a little hard or in weird places.
Belly: Measuring 2 weeks ahead. No stretch marks, belly button kind of out, kind of in.
Next Appointment: May 25th, internals start this week. And I will have my strep B test.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Another test.
I've been told that God doesn't throw anything at you that you can't handle. . .I think God has seriously overestimated me.
34 weeks and 3 days pregnant. There might be something wrong with my baby. What do you do with that at 34 weeks?
I am a miscarriage survivor. I have gotten pregnant against the odds of PCOS. My husband and I have hit rock bottom (or close to) financially this year, and are still getting by. I was already in Labor and Delivery due to no fetal movement when I was 6 months pregnant. I failed the first round of glucose testing.
But this, this is a whole different level.
I have to wait two weeks and then I am seeing a Perinatologist for another growth ultrasound. The baby's head and stomach are larger then the rest of his body. Best case scenario, nothing is wrong. Worst Case, the baby has Down's. And then there is the whole slew of things in the middle that I can't even wrap my head around. I am completely focused on both of those. It is either nothing or the worst case, there is no middle ground for me right now.
My husband and I opted out of the testing at the beginning of the pregnancy for a couple of reasons. One, it's not 100%. After all I had been through, I didn't want a false positive to be a shadow over this pregnancy.
Two, what do you do if you have a positive result? Do you end the pregnancy, because it's not a prefect little baby? Is that selfish? Would I do something like that? I don't have the answers to any of those questions, and I would never judge anyone for making those decisions. Because that is a very personal and heart wrenching decision to have to make. I didn't want to make those decisions, so I didn't get tested.
But I have to admit, on several occasions I have questioned our decision not to. Always worried in the back of my mind that something could be wrong. And now that possibility is laid before us, and there is nothing I can do. No amount of praying or crying will change whatever the outcome is going to be. And no matter what that outcome is, he is coming into this world, either healthy or not.
So I am going to continue on getting his nursery ready, picking up last minute items that he may need, washing his clothes.
Are me and my husband prepared to raise and love a special needs child? Absolutely not. Are we capable of doing so (mentally and financially)? I really have no clue, but we may have to find out.
34 weeks and 3 days pregnant. There might be something wrong with my baby. What do you do with that at 34 weeks?
I am a miscarriage survivor. I have gotten pregnant against the odds of PCOS. My husband and I have hit rock bottom (or close to) financially this year, and are still getting by. I was already in Labor and Delivery due to no fetal movement when I was 6 months pregnant. I failed the first round of glucose testing.
But this, this is a whole different level.
I have to wait two weeks and then I am seeing a Perinatologist for another growth ultrasound. The baby's head and stomach are larger then the rest of his body. Best case scenario, nothing is wrong. Worst Case, the baby has Down's. And then there is the whole slew of things in the middle that I can't even wrap my head around. I am completely focused on both of those. It is either nothing or the worst case, there is no middle ground for me right now.
My husband and I opted out of the testing at the beginning of the pregnancy for a couple of reasons. One, it's not 100%. After all I had been through, I didn't want a false positive to be a shadow over this pregnancy.
Two, what do you do if you have a positive result? Do you end the pregnancy, because it's not a prefect little baby? Is that selfish? Would I do something like that? I don't have the answers to any of those questions, and I would never judge anyone for making those decisions. Because that is a very personal and heart wrenching decision to have to make. I didn't want to make those decisions, so I didn't get tested.
But I have to admit, on several occasions I have questioned our decision not to. Always worried in the back of my mind that something could be wrong. And now that possibility is laid before us, and there is nothing I can do. No amount of praying or crying will change whatever the outcome is going to be. And no matter what that outcome is, he is coming into this world, either healthy or not.
So I am going to continue on getting his nursery ready, picking up last minute items that he may need, washing his clothes.
Are me and my husband prepared to raise and love a special needs child? Absolutely not. Are we capable of doing so (mentally and financially)? I really have no clue, but we may have to find out.
Monday, May 10, 2010
33 Weeks
Pregnancy: 33 weeks
Sleep: Depends on how I am feeling, but most nights I sleep pretty good.
Gender: Boy
Health: Okay. I had some contractions over the weekend, along with back pain, and stomach pain. But I feel much better today. I called my doctor's office today about the burning pain at the top of my stomach. I think it is muscle pain, but wanted to be sure. The nurse called back and said I could have gull stones and to go to the ER or call if it gets worse. I don't think she is right, HOWEVER she made 2 mistakes. The first one is mentioning the something could be wrong, and then not have me come in. Doesn't she know that I am now searching the web to find out what could be the worse case scenario?! The second mistake is, I wouldn't have called if it had not have gotten worse. I've had pain there for over a week now. Today it is really bothering me, so I called. So now, I'm not sure how to gage the pain. It's more annoying then I'm-going-to-die-pain, so I guess if it gets to the point where I can't move or I feel like someone shot me, then that's when I should go to the ER.
Movement: Still a busy little guy.
Belly: Getting huge. Still no stretch marks, belly button still in for the most part.
Next Appointment: May 18th
Sleep: Depends on how I am feeling, but most nights I sleep pretty good.
Gender: Boy
Health: Okay. I had some contractions over the weekend, along with back pain, and stomach pain. But I feel much better today. I called my doctor's office today about the burning pain at the top of my stomach. I think it is muscle pain, but wanted to be sure. The nurse called back and said I could have gull stones and to go to the ER or call if it gets worse. I don't think she is right, HOWEVER she made 2 mistakes. The first one is mentioning the something could be wrong, and then not have me come in. Doesn't she know that I am now searching the web to find out what could be the worse case scenario?! The second mistake is, I wouldn't have called if it had not have gotten worse. I've had pain there for over a week now. Today it is really bothering me, so I called. So now, I'm not sure how to gage the pain. It's more annoying then I'm-going-to-die-pain, so I guess if it gets to the point where I can't move or I feel like someone shot me, then that's when I should go to the ER.
Movement: Still a busy little guy.
Belly: Getting huge. Still no stretch marks, belly button still in for the most part.
Next Appointment: May 18th
Friday, May 7, 2010
Uncomfortable
I have to say, this has been this first week that I have been uncomfortable most of the week. I'm tired, the muscles in my stomach hurt, I have back pain. I am blah. I'm hoping it's just an off week and I will go back to be my normal, happy, pregnant self next week. In fact, I am cutting this blog short, because I am too tired to think.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
32 weeks
How far along are you? 32 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? 1 pound from 2 weeks ago
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Still punching and kicking away. Sometimes enough to make me flinch, because it is in a weird spot, like in my kidney!
Best moment this week? Well, I haven't wrote in two weeks. So I would say since then, getting my maternity pictures taken. They turned out great, Thanks Dana!
Food Cravings? Still nothing.
Belly button in or out? In.
Milestones? Just getting this far. It's amazing, I'm going to have a baby!
Weekly Wisdom? Sleep is so very important.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday Follow
Okay, I think I signed up to do this. And I hope I do it right, it's the little things that confuse me!
Daycares
I started looking at Daycares this week, and my first visit wasn’t what I expected. But I’m also not sure what I expected. I’ve never been in a daycare before, so I guess I had this ideal dream-like place in my head. I thought it would be quiet (Not sure how I thought a daycare with tons of kids would be quiet) and beautiful, with better amenities than what I could ever have. I know, crazy right?
Well, here is what I got. I pulled in to find no parking, not sure why, since there were only 2 parents dropping off and 7 people working. . .but whatever. I go to open the door, but noticed there is a security code. Well, that’s a plus! D sees me and opens the door to let me know she will be right with me. Immediately, I am almost knocked over by parents and kids trying to get through their morning routine. It’s crowded, I have nowhere to go, and it’s loud! Oh, so very loud! I thought it was going to be set up more like a doctor’s office, a waiting room, with a receptionist. You sign in your little one and off they go with their keeper for the day. Once again, not sure why I thought it would be that way.
D comes back to get me and we go to the infant room, which is small. It reminds me of what an orphanage would look like. Cheap cribs all lined up, a small place for them to crawl, a rocking chair. You have to remove your shoes to go back, so you don’t track dirt back there. Again, a plus. But the whole time she is talking, I am thinking, can I really drop my baby off here?
After all is said and done, they are more than qualified to take care of my baby. Probably, more so then I am. It’s clean, it seems to be well organized, and the people seem to be great. It came highly recommended. But I can’t shake the feeling that that place is not where he is supposed to be. The cost for what I am getting, seems to be a little much. It’s half of my weekly paycheck. And even as I write this, that is a hard pill to swallow. I know we can’t afford to have me not working, but can we even afford for him to go here, to a place that I don’t even love? I can’t imagine a place that I would love being cheaper. . .
I guess, we will keep looking for now. I have another appointment for next week. And I’m really excited about this place, but I have a feeling we won’t be able to afford it. I just don’t know how people do it that have less than we do. I guess it’s just a balancing act, and it will work out in the end.
Well, here is what I got. I pulled in to find no parking, not sure why, since there were only 2 parents dropping off and 7 people working. . .but whatever. I go to open the door, but noticed there is a security code. Well, that’s a plus! D sees me and opens the door to let me know she will be right with me. Immediately, I am almost knocked over by parents and kids trying to get through their morning routine. It’s crowded, I have nowhere to go, and it’s loud! Oh, so very loud! I thought it was going to be set up more like a doctor’s office, a waiting room, with a receptionist. You sign in your little one and off they go with their keeper for the day. Once again, not sure why I thought it would be that way.
D comes back to get me and we go to the infant room, which is small. It reminds me of what an orphanage would look like. Cheap cribs all lined up, a small place for them to crawl, a rocking chair. You have to remove your shoes to go back, so you don’t track dirt back there. Again, a plus. But the whole time she is talking, I am thinking, can I really drop my baby off here?
After all is said and done, they are more than qualified to take care of my baby. Probably, more so then I am. It’s clean, it seems to be well organized, and the people seem to be great. It came highly recommended. But I can’t shake the feeling that that place is not where he is supposed to be. The cost for what I am getting, seems to be a little much. It’s half of my weekly paycheck. And even as I write this, that is a hard pill to swallow. I know we can’t afford to have me not working, but can we even afford for him to go here, to a place that I don’t even love? I can’t imagine a place that I would love being cheaper. . .
I guess, we will keep looking for now. I have another appointment for next week. And I’m really excited about this place, but I have a feeling we won’t be able to afford it. I just don’t know how people do it that have less than we do. I guess it’s just a balancing act, and it will work out in the end.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
National Infertility Week
This week is National Infertility Week. And I just wanted to bring it to light. There are so many women facing this problem, and yet, no one talks about it. It's such a private battle and a painful one. To have the one thing you want so badly, that other people seem to achieve without a second thought, not come easily or at all to you is crushing. This is a disease that comes in so many forms and affects so many. It plays with your emotions, counting the months, counting the days, test after test. Negative after negative.
I know many people who are battling this, I'm not sure if I didn't have to fight my own battles to get here if I would have known about their battles. I still can't say, I know how you feel or what you are going through. Because everyones experience is different, and I could never fully understand how this is affecting you. But what I can say is I admire you. How you keep going, how you find happiness in everyday, and how you haven't let it destroy you. How every morning you get up and face the day and go through the process that you have to go through. Temping, pills, doctors appointments, shots. I truely admire you, and am your biggest cheerleader. And every night I pray for you, to find the light at the end of your tunnel.
I know many people who are battling this, I'm not sure if I didn't have to fight my own battles to get here if I would have known about their battles. I still can't say, I know how you feel or what you are going through. Because everyones experience is different, and I could never fully understand how this is affecting you. But what I can say is I admire you. How you keep going, how you find happiness in everyday, and how you haven't let it destroy you. How every morning you get up and face the day and go through the process that you have to go through. Temping, pills, doctors appointments, shots. I truely admire you, and am your biggest cheerleader. And every night I pray for you, to find the light at the end of your tunnel.
Monday, April 26, 2010
What not to say.
When you wife is 7 months pregnant, and not feeling all that hot or skinny. The following conversation, probably shouldn't happen.
Scenerio: Watching a movie with Jennifer Aniston
Husband: How old is she now.
Wife: I don't know, over 40.
Husband: She is f*cking hot.
Scenerio: Watching a movie with Jennifer Aniston
Husband: How old is she now.
Wife: I don't know, over 40.
Husband: She is f*cking hot.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
30 Weeks
Pregnancy: 30 weeks
Weight Gain: up one pound from last doctors appt. 153 lbs
Sleep: I've actually been sleeping really well lately.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Pretty good. My back has been aching the last few days, but nothing too bad.
Health: Good.
Movement: Not as strong as before, I assume because he can't flip anymore. So just light jabs and kicks throughout the day.
Belly: Measuring 2 weeks ahead. No stretch marks yet, and belly button still in.
Next Appointment: May 4th, I will be 32 weeks and 2 days.
Weight Gain: up one pound from last doctors appt. 153 lbs
Sleep: I've actually been sleeping really well lately.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Pretty good. My back has been aching the last few days, but nothing too bad.
Health: Good.
Movement: Not as strong as before, I assume because he can't flip anymore. So just light jabs and kicks throughout the day.
Belly: Measuring 2 weeks ahead. No stretch marks yet, and belly button still in.
Next Appointment: May 4th, I will be 32 weeks and 2 days.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Things I Wish People Would Have Told Me
Some things about pregnancy are never talked about. You hear all the stories about morning sickness and know to expect that, but after that, it seems that everyone paints a picture of being this glowing pregnant woman walking around and everyone puts you first. It’s really not that way, let me share some things with you:
1. (we will just get this one out of the way first, you can figure it out on your own) Shit doesn’t happen.
2. Because of this, hemorrhoids do happen
3. Pantyliners are your best friends for many reasons.
4. Before you start to show, your husband just won’t get it. I mean you look the same as you did before, so I just don’t think they can comprehend what your body is going through.
5. People don’t open doors for you, or let your cross the street, or offer their seats to you. It’s just not that kind of world! And when they do, you will be shocked and truly grateful.
6. You will have more work to do now, than you did before. Everyone says pamper yourself. . . I ask, with what extra time? Suddenly you notice the baseboards are dusty, and you HAVE to clean them. You can’t have your baby breathing in dust! No one will cut you slack at work, and now you have to prepare everyone for your maternity leave on top of everything else you do.
7. Money is an issue. Unless you work for this wonderful company that gives you full pay for your maternity leave, you will have to figure out on how to live on less, but still provide for one more person. Good luck.
8. Sleep doesn’t always come easy. You can be completely exhausted and spend the whole night tossing and turning.
9. Surprises happen. Be prepare for everything not to go smoothly and extra tests to be done. And do not stress before you have the results.
10. No matter how much you feel you are prepare or feel ahead of the game. You’re not. You will hit the last 2 months and panic sets it. Why don’t I have that??? I have to get that done!!!! I don’t have enough time. I am trying to except the fact that I am never going to be completely prepare, and I have to accept that and let some things go.
11. People will ask inappropriate questions, and there is nothing you can do about it.
12. Family members and friends will think that you are keeping stuff from them and not telling them everything, what they don’t realize is that it’s none of their business and you don’t want their opinions (unless asked for). Smile at them, and just remind them politely that you and your husband are keeping some things private.
13. You will say you are going to exercise and eat better, and you will try for awhile. But once again, things don’t always work out the way you planned. Most of the time the chocolate just tastes better then the apple. And sleep is so much better than the gym.
1. (we will just get this one out of the way first, you can figure it out on your own) Shit doesn’t happen.
2. Because of this, hemorrhoids do happen
3. Pantyliners are your best friends for many reasons.
4. Before you start to show, your husband just won’t get it. I mean you look the same as you did before, so I just don’t think they can comprehend what your body is going through.
5. People don’t open doors for you, or let your cross the street, or offer their seats to you. It’s just not that kind of world! And when they do, you will be shocked and truly grateful.
6. You will have more work to do now, than you did before. Everyone says pamper yourself. . . I ask, with what extra time? Suddenly you notice the baseboards are dusty, and you HAVE to clean them. You can’t have your baby breathing in dust! No one will cut you slack at work, and now you have to prepare everyone for your maternity leave on top of everything else you do.
7. Money is an issue. Unless you work for this wonderful company that gives you full pay for your maternity leave, you will have to figure out on how to live on less, but still provide for one more person. Good luck.
8. Sleep doesn’t always come easy. You can be completely exhausted and spend the whole night tossing and turning.
9. Surprises happen. Be prepare for everything not to go smoothly and extra tests to be done. And do not stress before you have the results.
10. No matter how much you feel you are prepare or feel ahead of the game. You’re not. You will hit the last 2 months and panic sets it. Why don’t I have that??? I have to get that done!!!! I don’t have enough time. I am trying to except the fact that I am never going to be completely prepare, and I have to accept that and let some things go.
11. People will ask inappropriate questions, and there is nothing you can do about it.
12. Family members and friends will think that you are keeping stuff from them and not telling them everything, what they don’t realize is that it’s none of their business and you don’t want their opinions (unless asked for). Smile at them, and just remind them politely that you and your husband are keeping some things private.
13. You will say you are going to exercise and eat better, and you will try for awhile. But once again, things don’t always work out the way you planned. Most of the time the chocolate just tastes better then the apple. And sleep is so much better than the gym.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
29 Weeks
How far along are you? 29 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? I'm holding steady at 152, so no weight gain from my last doctors appt. Hopefully I can keep it that way until next week! My doctor will be so proud!
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Yes, the other day I don't think he slept at all. I would poke at a certain place and he would kick back.
Best moment this week? Passing my glucose test! My arms look horrible, but I passed!
Food Cravings? Always chocolate, but that was before I was pregnant too!
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Milestones? Crib is together. But that was a few weeks ago. . .so I guess I need to get moving!
Weekly Wisdom? Sleep! And if you feel like you are going to pass out, call someone! Thanks CL!!!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Surreal
That is the word that I use to explain this pregnancy. Maybe because I haven't been that sick (even though I do not remember one day in the first tri where I actually felt good) but I haven't really had any of the aches and pains everyone else seems to complain about. The worst part was the migranes in the beginning of the second tri, but they passed within 2 weeks. Yes, my feet are swollen when I come home from work, but normally after having them elevated for 30 minutes, they look almost normal. Yes, there are days when my back is sore, but it's not horrible.
It's just weird and different. There have been days where I don't feel pregnant at all, and then I pass by a mirror or look down and it's like "Whoa!! What is that?!" It's like I didn't see the ending in sight, so it's like we are slowly preparing but, no real progress. But lately, for me, it seems to be changing.
I've come to realize it two months, I might be holding a baby. And I'm not ready. Mentally, yes, but he wouldn't have a lot of stuff. In fact, I need almost everything! Little man has a crib and sheets, and some clothes, but that's it. All of a sudden I feel rushed, I feel behind, but yet I don't know where to begin. So at the beginning of this week, I am going to get organized. I'm going to walk in that nursey and make a list and start doing, not just scanning the internet for cute things.
I'm not sure what has made me feel this way, maybe its the fact that I don't think he sleeps much anymore! He is always up kicking and moving, so there isn't a time where I am not thinking about him, because it's kind of hard to ignore the punches and jabs. Maybe it's the fact that the weather is starting to be nicer and reminding me of summer, and I know that means his arrival is right around the corner. It could be because our classes start soon at the hospital, or my maternity pics in two weeks, or that my shower invites went out. It's probably just all of these things, but I know for certainty now, that he is coming! And mommy and daddy need to start preparing!!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
3-Hour Test
So I did the three hour test yesterday, which is actually closer to a four hour test. They draw blood 4 different times, my arms look like I am a drug addict. I couldn't eat from 7:30 the night before and didn't get out of there until noon. So needless to say, if you don't feed a pregnant women for that long she is a little emotional and bitchy. My arms where very sore yesterday, today I'm feeling a lot better. I feel like a passed, but how do you know with these things?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
28 Weeks
Pregnancy: 28 weeks
Sleep: Most nights are good, I usually wake up 2/3 times to go to the bathroom or because I realized I rolled on my back.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Good. I assume this is about me. . . :) But I have been feeling pretty good, my back hurts on some days, but overall, nothing to complain about.
Health: I failed my glucose screening and go back tomorrow for the 3 hour test. :(
Movement: I couple times a day, he is much more active at night.
Belly: Getting bigger every day! (and everyone loves to inform me of that!) No stretch marks!
Next Appointment: Tuesday, April 20th.
Sleep: Most nights are good, I usually wake up 2/3 times to go to the bathroom or because I realized I rolled on my back.
Gender: Boy
Feeling: Good. I assume this is about me. . . :) But I have been feeling pretty good, my back hurts on some days, but overall, nothing to complain about.
Health: I failed my glucose screening and go back tomorrow for the 3 hour test. :(
Movement: I couple times a day, he is much more active at night.
Belly: Getting bigger every day! (and everyone loves to inform me of that!) No stretch marks!
Next Appointment: Tuesday, April 20th.
I get a Big, Fat "F"
So I failed my glucose screening on Monday and get to go back tomorrow for the 3 hour test. Oh, joy. I'm so excited, I can hardly contain myself. I hope I pass, I just can't imagine not passing right now. I don't think I gained that much weight, but in most articles I read that wouldn't be the reason that I would have gestational diabetes anyway. So after 7:30 tonight, there is no more eating and I can only drink water. My appointment is at 7:30 tomorrow morning, where I get to drink more of the delicious sugar crap, and then they will draw blood three times. Once an hour. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. . .
Saturday, April 3, 2010
My Saving Graces During Pregnancy
There are some things that you just can't live without. And I have notived that there are different things that I use or do everyday that really have help me out sometime during my pregnancy. So I decided that I would make a list of what they are.
Preggy Pops - During the first trimester someone introduced these to me, and they actually do work! They would help me get through the day with easing the on-going, 24 hour sickness.
Doppler - Maybe it was because of my previous miscarriage, but in the beginning, I was very consumed with worry that something was wrong. Being able to listen to his heart beat any time I wanted, really helped calm me down.
Pillows - Lots of them! I am surrounded by them in my bed. I didn't go out and buy the expensive pregnancy pillows, so I don't know if I am missing something great. But I find, for the most part, just surrounded myself with bed pillows helps me sleep.
Bella Band or Be Bands - I think this is my number one thing! I can still wear alot of my pregnancy pants because of this. It's just the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever thought of!
My husband - who is my very best friend.
My doctors - Seriously, it might sound stupid. But I think it is so important to find an office that you are comfortable with. My office is close to my house, the doctors and nurses are great. (the office staff falls flat, but I guess you can't have everything) And I will deliver close to home as well.
Blogs - Silly, I know. But I enjoy reading other blogs of mothers or mothers to be. Being a first time mom, it's nice to see what other people went through, and use their blogs as guidance. There are alot of great products I would have never known about if it wasn't for these people. I mean how often do you sit around with you friends and talk about breastfeeding or cloth diapering or worse!
Books - Belly Laughs and Baby's First Year have been my favorites.
Internet - I get weekly updates on what is happening with my baby, and I love it!
Preggy Pops - During the first trimester someone introduced these to me, and they actually do work! They would help me get through the day with easing the on-going, 24 hour sickness.
Doppler - Maybe it was because of my previous miscarriage, but in the beginning, I was very consumed with worry that something was wrong. Being able to listen to his heart beat any time I wanted, really helped calm me down.
Pillows - Lots of them! I am surrounded by them in my bed. I didn't go out and buy the expensive pregnancy pillows, so I don't know if I am missing something great. But I find, for the most part, just surrounded myself with bed pillows helps me sleep.
Bella Band or Be Bands - I think this is my number one thing! I can still wear alot of my pregnancy pants because of this. It's just the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever thought of!
My husband - who is my very best friend.
My doctors - Seriously, it might sound stupid. But I think it is so important to find an office that you are comfortable with. My office is close to my house, the doctors and nurses are great. (the office staff falls flat, but I guess you can't have everything) And I will deliver close to home as well.
Blogs - Silly, I know. But I enjoy reading other blogs of mothers or mothers to be. Being a first time mom, it's nice to see what other people went through, and use their blogs as guidance. There are alot of great products I would have never known about if it wasn't for these people. I mean how often do you sit around with you friends and talk about breastfeeding or cloth diapering or worse!
Books - Belly Laughs and Baby's First Year have been my favorites.
Internet - I get weekly updates on what is happening with my baby, and I love it!
Monday, March 29, 2010
27 Weeks
How far along are you? 27 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? Went to the doctors today, and they have 23 pounds. In my head, I have 31. I'm already thinking of my workout schedule once jr arrives.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? All the time.
Best moment this week? I'm in the 3rd tri, according to most sources! My doctors appointments are now every 3 weeks, instead of every 4.
Food Cravings? Still sweets, which would explain the weight gain.
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Milestones? 3 trimester! I never thought I would see the day. :)
Weekly Wisdom? Chocolate = weight gain.
Total Weight gain/loss? Went to the doctors today, and they have 23 pounds. In my head, I have 31. I'm already thinking of my workout schedule once jr arrives.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? All the time.
Best moment this week? I'm in the 3rd tri, according to most sources! My doctors appointments are now every 3 weeks, instead of every 4.
Food Cravings? Still sweets, which would explain the weight gain.
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Milestones? 3 trimester! I never thought I would see the day. :)
Weekly Wisdom? Chocolate = weight gain.
Monday, March 22, 2010
26 Weeks
Total Weight gain/loss? Wow. I'm not sure. I look really heavy in the picture above though, I am going to blame it on the pants! But I think I am up 15 or so pounds. Okay, I'm not telling the truth, its over 20.
Stretch marks? Nope:)
Baby Movement? Most of the time, he likes to throw dance parties in my belly, although we had a scare the other day (which I will write about in another blog). He is usually very active right before I go to bed.
Best moment this week? We ordered the crib, just waiting for it's arrival to put in little mans room.
Food Cravings? Nothing. I really like chocolate, but I have always loved chocolate. And ice cream is still a favorite. But no running out in the middle of the night, I have to have it now, cravings.
Belly button in or out? In, my belly button is really deep. In fact before I got pregnant, you couldn't even see the bottom of it.
Milestones? I think I felt a little foot or hand or something this week. I was laying on the couch rubbing my stomach, because he was moving alot, and I noticed right by my belly button, if I pushed down lightly on one spot, it was a little harder, kind of round shape. It's hard to explain, it was really weird, and at the same time really cool that I could touch him! After a few moments, he moved and it was gone.
Weekly Wisdom? Two things. If you are slightly concerned about something, call the doctor. It's better to just check then to worry about it. Second, make time to put your feet up. Even if you sit at a desk all day, your feet will still get swollen!
A new beginning.
To my blog that it. My friend has been suggesting that I keep a journal about my pregnancy, so I can look back and read it. And I have been putting off the idea, but I think it probably is a good thing to do. I will most likely look back and laugh at some of the things, and it could be nice to have. I figured, I would just start up my blog again and take it from where I left off.
So for the past few days, I have been cleaning up some things that were on here, because I am going to let more people access this. But I have left a lot the same. I can't erase the past events, and all those events/feelings have lead me to where I am right now. The next thing I had to decide, was who was I going to let read this right away. And I don't think I know the answer to that, or how to pick and choose. I've never been a very "private" person. And if you ask me a question, you are bound to get a very honest answer. But that is just how I am. I'm willing to share my journey with almost anyone, especially if it makes someone feel not so alone in theirs.
So if you are reading this right now, it is because I feel comfortable letting you into my life. And I want to keep you updated on the progress that I am making in my pregnancy. Some of you, I read your blogs, so I want to share with you, as you have shared with me. Some of you are friends or family. Some of you don't know about everything I have gone through to get pregnant or some of the tough times that we had. If you don't want to know about that stuff, you can consider this the beginning and just read from here! But all of you that are reading, thank you for taking an interest in my life! I hope this makes you laugh (and many of you that know how sarcastic I am, I'm sure it will in spots), and gives an insight of how I think pregnancy is, and hopefully how I think it is to be a mother in her 30's.
Picture below is me at 19 weeks. . .I am now at 26.
So for the past few days, I have been cleaning up some things that were on here, because I am going to let more people access this. But I have left a lot the same. I can't erase the past events, and all those events/feelings have lead me to where I am right now. The next thing I had to decide, was who was I going to let read this right away. And I don't think I know the answer to that, or how to pick and choose. I've never been a very "private" person. And if you ask me a question, you are bound to get a very honest answer. But that is just how I am. I'm willing to share my journey with almost anyone, especially if it makes someone feel not so alone in theirs.
So if you are reading this right now, it is because I feel comfortable letting you into my life. And I want to keep you updated on the progress that I am making in my pregnancy. Some of you, I read your blogs, so I want to share with you, as you have shared with me. Some of you are friends or family. Some of you don't know about everything I have gone through to get pregnant or some of the tough times that we had. If you don't want to know about that stuff, you can consider this the beginning and just read from here! But all of you that are reading, thank you for taking an interest in my life! I hope this makes you laugh (and many of you that know how sarcastic I am, I'm sure it will in spots), and gives an insight of how I think pregnancy is, and hopefully how I think it is to be a mother in her 30's.
Picture below is me at 19 weeks. . .I am now at 26.
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